Self happiness = relationship happiness
People are not attracted to generic cliches that say nothing about everything, but instead people are attracted to happiness and optimism. If you aren’t glad and optimistic then you shouldn’t be online dating (to start with). To be truly available for someone else wij have to be blessed with who wij are.
Merienda wij are blessed spil a single person it’s effortless to not date the wrong people, because wij are glad on our own. If your happiness is quota upon a relationship or another person, it’s fated to fail, because nothing should be more powerful than your own relationship with you. Wij have to get fair and ask ourselves “What am I actually attempting to get from this online dating? Am I already glad and available to bring someone into my life?”
It all starts with your dating profile. If your profile is trite and boring, then you’re going to attract trite and boring people to go on trite and boring dates. It’s ordinary supply and request. Your profile should be an accurate representation of who you are. Wij are all amazing people, therefore an fair dating profile should be like a snowflake: each special and unique, different from each other. If wij’re all individual people, how come all dating profiles read the same? Because wij are frightened our uniqueness won’t be accepted. The problem isn’t online dating, the problem is our lack of courage te being certain ter our own originality to opoffering other people.
Don’t describe “everyone” on your dating profile, describe you. I read a profile that said (many say this) “I truly like my job and spending time with my son.” That says nothing about you. Those are your responsibilities and duties spil an adult. You have kids, therefore it’s your responsibility to take care of them. You have a job because you have to provide food and shelter. Those are facts of your life. It’s boring to tell other people. Nobody cares. You think there is someone out there who is attracted to “The ONE who loves kids and hier job. I can’t believe I found hier!”
Nobody cares that you like spending time with your kids or love your job. Why? The people reading your profile do not know you. There is no emotional connection, so they do not care about the details of your life. When you spend months with someone and start caring for them, you begin to think of them and become nosey about who they are. This is very different than most very first dates where people ask questions they think they should, like reading from a script.
For example, when you ask someone on a very first date “Where did you go to schoolgebouw?” you are asking because you think you should – to pack the time of the obligatory hour and half very first date. You don’t care where they went to schoolgebouw. You don’t know them, but after dating that person for two months then you might deduce “this person is indeed brainy, I wonder where she went to schoolgebouw.” At that point you’ll recall the response, because you cared about the question. Sometimes on a date the best questions are the ones you ask zometeen.
Here is a revised rewrite of sample profile mentioned above about the lady who loved hier job and son, “The other day I came huis from a late night at work and my son Jack astonished mij with dinner. It wasgoed so sweet because he’s only 12! He knows I love my job and waterput ter long hours, but having dinner with him (let’s be fair. it wasgoed microwaved pizza) and talking about his science project wasgoed the highlight of my week.”
That says something about you, a loterijlot about you, and also accomplishes the other things you want to say: you love your job and son. It’s colorful, engaging, brings people te instead of repelling them. It also engages the user. Reminisce the user has no emotional connection to you, so make your profile worth their time. Wij are all busy, nobody has an attention span, so why would anyone want to spend three minutes on your dating profile? Make it interesting and not only will they love it, but they most likely also want to know more about the person writing it.
A better profile for a better relationship
It all boils down to caring about your effort and attempt te finding a mate. If you do it sloppily, then you are going to get dirty results. If my kitchen is a mess then I am going to attract cockroaches and other insects. If you have a boring profile (a mess) then you are going to attract those people who gross you out the same. Write about you, be you. There is only one you, and if you fully represent yourself then you are already volmaakt for someone. Not flawless for everyone, but you don’t need to be. You are good enough spil you are, but maybe you needed to be reminded of this. Be fair about your effort at online dating and through that know its ok if you don’t meet one person because you were already blessed spil a person before you registered.
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